The Art of Giving
Sometime in 2017, just in the early phase of my love life. I liked a boy, and I was so eager on showing it to him. I subconsciously wanted to buy him things, but I didn’t have any money. I was broke-broke.
I was observing my Industrial Training that period and one fateful day, my boss gave me 2,000 Naira for a job well done.
On my way back home, I saw a roadside vendor that sold caps and Footwears. It was a distance from my supposed bus stop, but I alighted there. I saw a very pretty face-cap that I liked, not for myself but for the boy I liked. I was excited because i felt buoyant enough with the money i got earlier from work.
I walked up to the vendor and bought the face cap for 1,500N. It was a pink cap. I was so escatic to even wait until the weekend to give it to him. so instead, I proceeded to his sister’s store where I could find him, just to give him the cap.
When I got there, I didn’t mind he had company, I excitedly brought out the cap enclosed in a nylon bag and gave it to him. There was a smile on his face until he unwrapped the nylon bag and saw the content. Then he chuckled and said,
“you bought me a pink cap???? Hahahahaha why would you buy me pink!!! I don’t even like that color”.
I didn’t remember the remaining words he uttered. My heart was broken, and I was embarrassed he rejected it in front of his sister. I shamelessly retrieved the cap and put it back in my bag.
During the remaining few minutes i spent there, I tried to smile and hide the fact that I was hurt and disappointed. Not only from the rejection but also from the fact that I was broke again and I didn’t even have transport fare to take me home.
I walked home that day and I cried!!!!
The Art of Giving
It took me so many years and lot of personal and non-personal experiences to understand that “Giving” isn’t just an ACT but it’s ART.
Giving is an Expression.
Giving is just like ART. An expression of how you feel but towards a person. It’s from a place of Care, concern, or Love.
We give because it’s a feeling erupted from the inside, we give because we care or simply because we yearn to.
Most people feel GIVING is only offering material things. I strongly disagree. The Art of giving Can be expressed in various ways.
- Moral Support
- Help
- Services
- Gifts
- Companionship
- Advice
- Emotional support
- Time
- Love
- Expertise
- And lots more
It's important to note the various ways we can give and be given to.
The first hack of GIVING is understanding the why, how, what, and when.
WHY — knowing the reason behind the decision to give. As unbelievable as it may seem, there’s always a reason behind every action we take.
HOW — fathoming the right way to GIVE in that situation. Should you give your time? A gift? Money? Words of encouragement? Etc
WHAT — this is the most difficult part of giving. Knowing what to give. I’d say if we properly access why and how we need to give at that point, knowing what to give wouldn’t be the problem. There are three things to consider when thinking of what to give.
What they need - What they love - What they want
WHEN — knowing the right time to give is very necessary. Giving a bereaved person at the early moment of their loss might be a bad idea compared to giving them moral and emotional support. think
I realized sometimes; people Give just to feel good about themselves. This is why people are quick to remember and feel bad about the gifts they gave, the moral support they gave, or even the time they offered when things go bad.
In reference to my story. I realized, later on, that i gifted my friend a pink cap because it was my favorite color, I didn’t care about his favorite color or what he’d like. Rather, I concluded he ought to love anything I gifted him, and I felt bad he didn’t appreciate it because I was more concerned about my Ego than the action itself.
When we put our expectations ahead of intentions of Giving, it becomes a selfish purpose.
Mother Teresa once quoted, “it’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving”.
