ATTACHMENT ISSUES
Some days ago, I disposed of faulty ear pods. To be precise, it’s been faulty for a long time but I’ve held on to it stubbornly.
I felt a pang of sadness the entire day after I threw it into the trash can at my office. It felt like I was throwing away a little portion of my life.
I wasn’t surprised when I ran back to the trash can the moment I got to work the next day to look for it. The disappointment slapped back harder when I discovered the thrash has been evacuated already.
Oops!
It was a gift from my Ex-Boyfriend and was one of the first gifts he gave me at the beginning of our relationship. It’s been over 6 months since our breakup and to a reasonable extent, I think I’ve gotten over him.
I grudgingly disposed of gifts and other items that reminded me of him after our breakup but for no explainable reason, I kept the Ear Pods. In defense, I think it would have been unfair of me to lose every physical memory of him.
It didn’t surprise me though. I have the attitude of keeping material things from acquaintances, friends, and lovers even after we’ve drifted apart.
I still have an Ash handbag from my first boyfriend, a hand chain from my high school sweetheart, I kept an earring I got from a girl after a short friendship we established in a summer retreat, I also have a plant from my late friend, “Jerry”.
These, are only but a few. I have tons of properties from people I either don’t talk to anymore or relationships that ended. I have always felt the need to keep connections and memories of people I once shared something with despite the reasons of separation or drift.
A few weeks ago, I lost my office keys and I felt sad for a few days. It was a bunch of keys for the entire office doors at work and I’ve had it ever since I started working there. It felt like a huge part of me and losing it had a big impact on me.
Phew!
I got a new phone recently and although I made up my mind to give out the older one, I still hung on to it for more than a week. It felt like I was giving away a part of myself. I mean, I had used the phone for over a year. It was my companion every single day, how do I give it away just like that? Like we didn’t have a significant memory together?
My mom used to be worried I had so much attachment to material things but it isn’t the case.
I easily get emotionally connected to things and people, I hate to discard the memories I once shared with anything or anyone.
I had a long thought about these similar patterns and I realized I might have an “attachment problem” after all. So it caught me curious when I thought about the incessant monogram of holding on to things and people longer than I should. I did some research and discovered it’s a character disorder called “Hoarding Disorder”.
You could read more about it here ->
Well that has to be reasonable explanation. Please drop a comment if this resonates with you. 😀
Thank you for reading. 😊
